Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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