dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm both gender and math confused
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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