I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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