I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize