this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
