I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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