the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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