We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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