He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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