yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
