i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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