I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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