lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
