dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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