Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
