i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
