I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
