the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize