You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
