Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
