Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize