he wants to bone in the snuggie
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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