As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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