Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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