True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
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