Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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