i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
