pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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