Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize