Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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