Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I'm always down for nudity.
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