Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
