I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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