Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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