just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
