I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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