Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
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