In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I could make wine with my vomit
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It's never too late to be topless.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
