A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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