Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
