i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
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