i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
