He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I think your dad took our porno
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
