Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
