so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
