Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
