I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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