It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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