Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize