Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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