he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
