If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
