i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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