at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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