Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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