finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
