Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
