ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
