we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
