k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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