apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
