thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize