I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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